St. Stephen’s Hand

When is a hand not a Hand?

St. Stephen’s Hand is definitely St. Stephen’s Hand and is probably not St. Stephen’s hand.

• St. Stephen: 11th-century king of Hungary. Real guy. Had a right hand.

• St. Stephen’s Basilica: big church in Budapest. Contents include marble, gold, and a mummified right hand.

• St. Stephen’s hand: the actual historical hand of St. Stephen, dead 15 August 1038.

• St. Stephen’s Hand: mummified hand. Made the rounds: Croatia, Austria, now Budapest. Encased in an ornate golden box.

The Catholic Church venerates this mummified hand as St. Stephen’s Hand. And thanks to fancy modern technology, we could test whether it’s also St. Stephen’s hand.

But does it matter?

Facts vs Hand-y Symbols

Carbon dating could tell us whether the hand comes from the right decade.

DNA testing could tell us at least whether the hand is from a male and likely if the ancestry is a probable match (and not, say, an Egyptian mummy).

I don’t buy that it matters.

The Hand of St. Stephen comes from the same organization that brought you The Body of Christ. To a Catholic, the eucharist is both the literal body of Christ, and Catholics who consume it are not cannibals.

To a non-Catholic, those don’t jibe.

Where laypeople see logical inconsistencies, Catholics have hyper-specific explanations fit for each circumstance.

Idolatry is prohibited in Catholicism, thanks to the original constitution (the Ten Commandments, starring Charlton Heston).

Yet, the entire basilica is organized around a mummified hand under glass, a money slot next to it, and candles you can light for €1.

Catholics say praying in front of The Hand is not idolatry. Most Protestants and nearly all Jews disagree. But Catholics have a particular distinction for this sort of behavior:

• “Veneration” is the appropriate honoring of a holy symbol that points the worshipper toward God.

• “Worship” is the inappropriate honoring of the symbol itself as God.

In Catholic doctrine, categorically different. From the outside, indistinguishable.

If I can’t externally verify whether you’re worshipping or venerating, is it idolatry?

What is the sound of one St. Stephen’s Hand clapping?

The Castle

In 1896 Hungary built a mock castle out of wood and cardboard for its millennium celebration: Vajdahunyad Castle.

The castle proved so popular that, from 1902-1908, Hungary rebuilt Vajdahunyad Castle out of stone. This building blends Romanesque, Gothic, Renaissance, and Baroque elements spanning ten centuries of Hungarian architecture. It now houses the Hungarian Museum of Agriculture.

Partner asks: is it a real castle?

Across the river and on top of the hill, the Buda Castle has been destroyed and rebuilt multiple times over the last 750 years. The most recent incarnation follows severe damage in WWII, so it is newer than Vajdahunyad Castle, and it is in a modernist style, so it looks less “castle-y” than the Vajdahunyad Castle.

The cardboard version was clearly not a “Real Castle”. What about now, after 100 years in stone?

The Costs

Upon entering St. Stephen’s Basilica, one may light a candle for either 300 HUF or 1€. This conversion is the closest-to-accurate HUF-to-EUR I’ve encountered in Hungary. The Catholic Church does its math.

Just outside the Basilica, one of the staff members instructs you to remove your hat.

The Christian god, evidently, is offended if He cannot see the top of your head. The Jewish god, I hear, is offended if He can. Many people say this is the same god.

I’m curious what happens if a Jew with a yarmulke walks in.

A yarmulke is a hat. The instructions say “No hats”.

Perhaps a yarmulke is a Hat that is not a hat.

To enter the Basilica, one must pay 2700HUF (around $9), unless you’re a religious person (with certificate) or a pilgrim (with certificate).

I wonder what price I could get for certificates sold at the door.

If arrested, I would have to tell the police that my certificates are not fake; they are merely Certificates.